Last Updated on July 6, 2025 by The Official Game Rules Team

Everyone loves a good murder mystery—unless they’re the one being murdered. In Not Today, Murder!, you and your friends are trapped in over-the-top, deadly scenarios and must escape using only the three random objects in your hand. Can a garden gnome, spray cheese, and a rubber duck save you from a revenge-fueled ex-clown? That’s for the group to decide.

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How to Play Not Today, Murder

How to Play

A murder scenario is revealed—anything from haunted libraries to vengeful exes with axes.
Each player draws three object cards.
Using only those items, players describe how they’d escape the situation.
The group votes on whose escape plan is the best—or at least the most entertaining.

Who Should Play

Fans of dark comedy and absurd hypotheticals
Anyone convinced they’d survive a horror movie
Party gamers who enjoy storytelling, creative thinking, and group laughs

What’s in the Box

300 double-sided Object Cards
50 double-sided Murder Scenario Cards
Countless ways to die creatively (and escape just as creatively)

Not Today, Murder! is a storytelling party game of dark humor, ridiculous objects, and absurdly deadly situations. Think Go Fish meets Final Destination—but funnier.

Each round, players find themselves in a brand-new murder scenario. Maybe you’re locked in a haunted roller rink. Maybe a vengeful mime is out for blood. Whatever the case, your life is on the line—and your only hope is to escape using three random object cards. A garden gnome, a waffle iron, and a bottle of glitter glue? That’s your gear. Good luck.

Using quick thinking and creativity, each player explains how they would survive the scene using only their three objects. Your plan can be clever, bold, ridiculous, or barely plausible—as long as it gets a laugh or wins the vote. Once everyone has shared their escape story, the group votes on who had the best plan. The player with the most votes wins the round.

It’s survival of the funniest, the most creative, or the most persuasive. No rules lawyers here—this game rewards imagination, storytelling, and a little dramatic flair.

Whether you’re into horror movies, improv comedy, or just enjoy making your friends laugh, Not Today, Murder! delivers fast-paced, laugh-out-loud fun. Great for game nights, parties, or any group that likes their humor dark and their gameplay chaotic. a spatula.